


I Do Not Like Jar Jar Abrams: A Parody of Green Eggs and Hams

by NoImDavidicus



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 18:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21531019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoImDavidicus/pseuds/NoImDavidicus
Summary: A parody primarily rejecting the DT.
Comments: 2





	I Do Not Like Jar Jar Abrams: A Parody of Green Eggs and Hams

Fan’s Unbridled Contempt Kicking Out Failed Films - OFF  
Jar Jar Abrams - JJA

JJA:  
Jar Jar I am. Jar Jar Abrams. Abrams Jar Jar.

OFF:  
That Abrams Jar Jar! That Abrams Jar Jar! I do not like that Abrams Jar Jar!

JJA:  
Would you watch Disney Star Wars?

OFF:  
I would not watch it, Abrams Jar Jar.  
I would not watch Disney Star Wars.

JJA:  
Would you watch it here or there?

OFF:  
I would not watch it here or there.  
I would not watch it anywhere.  
I would not watch Disney Star Wars.  
I would not watch it, Abrams Jar Jar.

JJA:  
Would you watch it with a horse?  
Would you watch it with the force?

OFF:  
I would not watch it with a horse.  
I would not watch it with the force.  
I would not watch it here or there.  
I would not watch it anywhere.  
I would not watch Disney Star Wars.  
I would not watch it, Abrams Jar Jar.

JJA:  
Would you watch it in a Sith hood?  
Would you watch it if it is good?

OFF:  
Not in a hood. Not if it’s good.  
Not with a horse. Not with the force.  
I would not watch it here or there.  
I would not watch it anywhere.  
I would not watch Disney Star Wars.  
I would not watch it, Abrams Jar Jar.

JJA:  
Would you? Could you? From the sand?  
Watch it! Watch it! On demand.

OFF:  
I would not, could not, from the sand.

JJA:  
You may like it. You will see.  
You may like it when there’s three!

OFF:  
I would not, could not when there’s three.  
Not from the sand! You let me be.  
I would not watch it in a hood.  
I would not watch it if it’s good.  
I would not watch it with a horse.  
I would not watch it with the force.  
I would not watch it here or there.  
I would not watch it anywhere.  
I would not watch it, Abrams Jar Jar.  
I would not watch Disney Star Wars.

JJA:  
A bay! A bay! A bay! A bay!  
Could you, would you from a piratey bay?

OFF:  
Not from the bay! Not when there’s three!  
Not from the sand! Abrams! Let me be!  
I would not watch it in a hood.  
I would not watch it if it’s good.  
I would not watch it with a horse.  
I would not watch it with the force.  
I would not watch it here or there.  
I would not watch it anywhere.  
I would not watch it, Abrams Jar Jar.  
I would not watch Disney Star Wars.

JJA:  
Say! In the park? A Disney theme park!  
Would you, could you in the park?

OFF:  
I would not, could not, in the park.

JJA:  
Would you could you if there’s Rey?

OFF:  
I would not, could not if there’s Rey.  
Not in the park. Not from the bay.  
Not from the sand. Not if there’s three.  
I would not watch it, Abrams, you see.  
Not with a horse. Not in a hood.  
Not with the force. Not if it’s good.  
I would not watch it here or there.  
I would not watch it anywhere.

JJA:  
You do not like Disney Star Wars?

OFF:  
I do not like it, Abrams Jar Jar.

JJA:  
Could you, would you, with a Tauntaun?

OFF:  
I would not, could not with a Tauntaun!

JJA:  
Would you, could you, if there’s nothing else on?

OFF:  
I could not, would not, with nothing else on.  
I will not, will not, with a Tauntaun.  
I will not watch it if there’s Rey.  
Not in the park! Not if there’s three!  
Not from the sand! You let me be!  
I would not watch it in a hood.  
I would not watch it if it’s good.  
I would not watch it with a horse.  
I would not watch it with the force.  
I would not watch it here or there.  
I would not watch it anywhere.  
I would not watch it, Abrams Jar Jar.  
I would not watch Disney Star Wars.

JJA:  
You do not like it. So you say.  
Watch it! Watch it! And you may.  
Watch it and you may, I say.

OFF:  
Abrams! If you let me be,  
I will watch it. You will see.

(... And he watches it ...)

OFF  
Say! I still don’t like Disney Star Wars!  
I don’t! I hate it, Abrams Jar Jar!  
And I would hate it with nothing else on.  
And I would hate it with a Tauntaun.  
And I hate it when there’s Rey.  
And in the park. And on the bay.  
And from the sand. And when there’s three.  
They are so bad, so bad, you see!  
So I will hate it in a hood.  
And I will hate it, it’s no good.  
And I will hate it with a horse.  
And I will hate it with the force.  
And I will hate it here and there.  
Say! I will hate it anywhere!  
I do so hate Disney Star Wars!  
Poodoo! Poodoo, Abrams Jar Jar.


End file.
